Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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