Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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