Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Enjoy the penises
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
