Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
