Already got asked if we're dating
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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