I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
