Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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