At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
