You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
