Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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