my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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