hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
