The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
