can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize