She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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