If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he thought i was a dude.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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