i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
