We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
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She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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