if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
