one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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