tell your sister to shave her snatch
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
