the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
