Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
