we're blogging at a bar
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
