this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
