Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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