Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
