Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
