I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
high people should be assigned attendants
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
