we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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