That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
