We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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