We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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