from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So much rum. So many feels.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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