Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
