We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
