You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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