One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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