Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
