therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
