I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize