The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
