he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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