Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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