I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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