Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
