We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
