so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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