I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
