why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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