I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
