At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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