Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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