I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
