We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
