yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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