I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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