Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
