My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
ttyl tear gas
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
