Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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