I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize