let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
