3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
