im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
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He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I wear drunk well.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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